I'm grateful for...

Just finished reading an interesting article in Fast Company magazine from Amber Rae about keeping a gratitude journal. Here are some things I'm grateful for...

My wife...her support for me is as unconditional as her love for me!!

My mentor...a woman of strength, intelligence, wisdom and...because she's working with me on my dissertation...the patience of a saint!

My Dissertation committee...other than my mentor...there are 3 other colleagues that make up my committee and I greatly appreciate their interest in my work!!

Running...yes running. My wife and I started 6 months ago...integrating it into our exercise routine and we've not looked back!!

Amber Rae notes that keeping a gratitude journal is supposed to help people reach their potential daily. Let's see where this goes!

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Leaving the Plastic City...a winner!!!

I've been in Vegas since this past Wednesday...attending a teaching conference. The only other time I was in Vegas was to change flights on my way home to Charlotte...while attending another teacher conference. I'm not a high roller nor do I have any interest in gambling so I was a little reluctant to leave my students for 3 straight days to come out here. But...as the past few days have transpired...I think about what I've been able to accomplish...

1. I had 4 + hours of writing and thinking about my proposal on the flight out.

2. I had about 4 more hours of writing and thinking about my proposal on Thursday.

3. I spent a wonderful morning, Thursday...at the spa at MGM Grand...time just focused on me!!

4. I presented to a great group of educators about my classroom practice Thursday afternoon.

5. I spent a little more time at the spa Thursday evening...after that presentation.

6. I had a great dinner 2 nights in a row with 2 very good friends!

7. I witnessed some of the "color" that Vegas has to offer on the Strip Friday night...and...

8. I will have about 4 + hours I can dedicate to my proposal on the flight home.

So...I guess what I'm saying is, Tony 1, Vegas 0

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What I learned...

Yesterday Steph and I participated in our first 5K race. I learned a few things from the experience...1) We are in really good shape, 2) All that matters on race day is that you finish, and 3) Running in the company of other runners is pretty darn cool!!

Labor Day...

We added 5 minutes to our morning run today...up to 35 minutes running...45 minutes of total movement (5 minute warm-up/brisk walk and 5 minute cool down). I know we are definitely in the 5k range...our devices have us "clocking in" at 2.83 miles - 3.53 miles. I'm wondering which one is more accurate. Regardless...we are enjoying ourselves and getting fit...that's all that should matter. I won't lie though when I say that I find my self slipping backwards into a Capitalistic mode that is consumed with PR's for pace and distance...I don't think that this is a bad thing when it comes to getting "better" at this thing called running.

Week 9 of running...

I cannot believe that in just 8 full weeks of running we've gone from intervals of 2 to 3 minute runs with a walk in between to 30 full minutes of running starting today...as we move into the 9th and final week of the Couch to 5k program!!! I am truly amazed at our progression through the program!! Running is now an integral part of our daily routine!! The data from the Forerunner gps watch has proven very informative and continues to help keep us focused on our next steps as we move forward from the Couch app to new and exciting things...like our first 5k in late September!

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PR on distance...

3rd day out with Garmin Forerunner starting first day of 8th week of Couch to 5k program...made a PR for distance on this mornings run...in the rain!! I'm finding that the gps readings on the Forerunner seem more accurate than the C25k app...makes sense...Garmin is in the gps business after all. I continue to be impressed with our efforts running. I NEVER would have imagined myself in this position...as a runner...8 weeks ago!! Going to Spin class in the morning...then run Wednesday.

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Up-ing my game!

As we get closer to finishing the Couch to 5K program...I decided the other day that it was time to up my game and start preparing for what comes next. I did some research on gps running watches. I want to be able to keep track of things as the Couch program comes to a close. All the reading I did on these watches convinced me that it would be a good idea to take the plunge...so I did! I got a Garmin Forerunner. Tested it out today. It came with a heart monitor as well. The data that this thing collects is sick! It uploads to a website that allows me to look over the data and think more about my running goals. It also allows me to share the data on both Twitter and Facebook...so I can get encouragement from my followers and friends.

About 7 years ago...I found the writer in me...this summer...I have found the runner in me and it feels great! Naming myself a runner makes me proud of what I'm becoming!

Last day of summer begins with two PR's...

After a well deserved day of rest...we started our 7th week of running today. 25 minutes of running...the second time ever we've run for that amount of time. We improved on our distance (2.3 miles) and pace (15:12/per mile) this morning...2/10ths of a mile longer and 30 seconds faster than Monday's run! I am so impressed with our progress in such a short amount of time and I am positive that all of our Spin training has prepared us to embrace running! Running has truly helped me through a very busy summer.

Most of audience knows that I'm a teacher and while the general perception of a teacher's summer revolves around the myth that they just sit around and do nothing...you all know that this is NOT true for many of us and it is certainly NOT true in my case. In fact, you might say that my summers are just as hectic as when I'm working with children each day at school. That said--I am convinced that running will help me stay balanced with all that lies ahead of me as this summer comes to a close...including a new school year beginning (tomorrow)...my very last doctoral class beginning (next week)...and the defense of my dissertation proposal (hopefully some time in September) leading to my research/writing of my dissertation (some time after the proposal defense).

It is my intent to continue blogging through all of this. Like running and spinning and yoga...I feel that blogging has helped me stay balanced.

Permission to rest...granted!

Yesterday's 25 minute run...a first for the two of us...resulted in today's decision to rest! I care enough about my body (specifically...my knees) and the fun I'm having running to know enough when to take a break. All the reading I've been doing about running supports my decision to rest at least once a week...if not twice. Think I'll use the time I'd be running reading some fun stuff about running!

This thinking about resting in between runs has me wondering more about guilt. I don't feel guilty having made this decision to rest today so why does guilt come into my life after, during or before the time I write and work on my doctoral studies? I know this guilt is 110% mental...in my mind...not the world...yet I cannot get over it. I can write for 3-5 hours in a day then try to sit down and relax and struggle with it...feel bad for trying to do something fun or just sit and relax. Knowing that this guilt is self-driven is a first step...figuring out how to get over it and enjoy my life is a process...one day at a time. Writing about that process "here" is a part of the process. Getting this thinking out in front of me does help me reflect on it...helps me figure out how to give myself permission to rest...relax...enjoy life.

New PR and time for a rest...

Today we ran for 25 sustained minutes...first time ever! It felt great but about 9 minutes in...I started to feel some pain in my...of all places...right knee. I was wearing my knee sleeve on my left knee (as always) and it felt great the entire time. I was surprised a bit about the right knee "acting up." I say surprised a bit because we have been working out a lot recently...with no days off to rest since last Monday so I think my right knee was trying to send a message to my brain today...7 days in a row (5 running, 2 cycling) ='s time to take a break! I listened and we plan to take tomorrow off. Now...back to that 25 minutes!! I am so proud of us (Steph and I) for going the whole 25 minutes without stopping. It was a beautiful Monday morning for a run...clear...cool...lots of stars out...the moon looked awesome...it was quiet...just Steph, myself and the road! Knowing that my knee was bothering me a bit...I really tried to land soft and as flat as I could...not trying to thump! When we got back home...I iced both knees...did some yoga and plan on icing the knees more later on today. There were a few moments on the road that I thought about stopping and just walking but I really wanted to run for the whole 25 minutes. I did not think it was unrealistic to complete the run. I still feel the same way now...almost 3 hours removed from the moment. I promised myself that if I could just finish...I'd give myself a day off and I will keep that promise...feeling good about what we accomplished today!

What is Spin class?

What is it that makes a Spin class...a Spin class? You need bikes, you need an instructor, you need music. Wait...do you really need music? This morning our instructor was unable to secure the music for our class. She was very apologetic and told us that she'd teach the class without the music if we were willing. No one left the room. For the next 40 minutes she proceeded to take us through a grueling workout that included several climbs, numerous sprints and a few hovers...just for kicks and giggles. Some of the people were a bit perplexed and dare I say "lost" without the music. Not me. I turned inward and thought about cyclists that compete on the road...they don't have music. I began to visualize myself "on the road" with my fellow cyclists...riding...trying my best to do my personal best. In the process...I visualized myself climbing hills, sprinting down the road...passing my fellow cyclists...giving myself up to the ride...pushing myself...my instructor's commands in the background...guiding me through the race I was constructing.

At the end of the ride...I felt great about my performance and knowing from this point on...the only playlist I need is my own determination to make each class my personal best!

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An excerpt from the Writing Marathon...

Yesterday, I ran for 20 minutes and...participated in a Writing marathon. A Writing marathon involves getting together with other writing enthusiasts...moving from one place to another...spending time writing in each place...sharing that writing and moving on to a new destination. This blogpost captures a bit of that marathon in which I struggle with unpacking a 6 Word memoir I'd written the day before.

Here's a connection...I've noticed in the 6 weeks that I've been running that there are moments during the run where I attempt to unpack thoughts that occupy my mind...like I did yesterday during the Writing marathon. This is one of the cool things I'm coming to enjoy about running...it can be whatever you want it to be...time to ponder...time to meditate...time to let off steam...

So...here's some of what I came up with during the marathon...

I (r)-ycle, I (wr)-ead, I sleep. I'm starting this marathon by mining my daybook. We wrote memoirs yesterday in varying forms...the 6-Word memoir I wrote yesterday looks like this..."I run, I write, I sleep." I realized this morning that there was space within the original memoir to mash things up a bit...hence...what you "heard" me "read" as I started. I spent time earlier thinking about what it would be like to un-pack this memoir to give you a fuller picture of how it defines my life. I'm thinking about breaking it apart...into segments...maybe I'll piece it back together at some point...maybe I won't.

I (r)-cyle...initially...I wanted you to know that my days usually start around 4:15 or 5 am...getting up to run or cycle with my wife...both of these activities have been an effort on my part to find balance within this "6WMUM"...balance in the form of exercise (it's hard to imagine that just over a year ago I was weighing in at an obese 185 lbs)...balance in the form of spending more time with my wife Stephanie (who has been a doctoral widow for the past 5 years and has about 2 more to go...if things go well)...balance spiritually (the pressure and stress that comes with the "second" part of this memoir has scared me on many levels). So, (r)-cyling has done many things for me...I've lost over 20 lbs, I'm spending quality time with Stephanie and the "high" I feel while running and cycling cannot be measured or described by mere words on a page. I mean, I could try...let's see if a haiku does it...

Troubled man

finds his Zen

While running and cycling

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Text complexity and Spin Class...

Half way through our Spin class this morning...which focused on different elements of cycling in the Olympics...I started thinking about the class as a site of text complexity. I'm participating in a professional development workshop this week and we are learning about how to identify elements of text complexity as well as the text complexity we bring to our experiences. So...here's what I'm thinking...how text complexity and Spin class are mashing up to me...through the language I heard this morning...from our instructor and the songs/music that provided the informational and persuasive backdrop to our ride...

"Turn up your RPM's so they are between 65-70...get up...sit down...burn it...It's the eye of the tiger...We can be heroes--just for one day...We are the champions...You can do it...Go for the gold...30 seconds to go...If I could reach, I'd reach much higher...I'd be stronger...Perfect pedal strokes...2 minutes 'til the top of the mountain...GO!!"

It's all in there. Structure->simple, Language Conventionality and Clarity->literal, clear, conversational/domain-specific, Knowledge demands->simple theme...Olympic cycling, Cultural/Literary knowledge->high intertextuality...in that the instructor made several references and illusions to other texts...text that we needed to have an understanding of in order to respond to her during the ride.

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Another day...more PR's...

In 5 weeks of walk/jogging...we've gone from walking most of the time to jogging for 20 sustained minutes!!! Our distance and pace were awesome as well...especially for such a longer jog. We really focused on proper technique this morning...no leaning forward, no thumping, landing soft...on the ball of our feet...proper breathing...we were very mindful of it all!! The process...the journey...that's what it's all about.

In my writing...I try to focus on my process all the time. Whether its freewriting or revising...I attempt to remain mindful within the process...to enjoy the journey! As I mentioned in a previous post...I'm thinking that reflection after the "event" is as important as mindful engagement within the "event." It is only through reflection that we become mindful and appreciative of our efforts...our PR's.

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Post write reflection...

So...earlier this morning I blogged about the importance of looking back at what I accomplished during my writing and feeling good about it. In 30 minutes time I...entered into a conversation with two of my thinking partners...members of my writing community. The conversation comes in the form of comments I'm making to an email that each of my thinking partners sent me last night. The comment function in a word document provides...in this case the opportunity for others to see what you are thinking about their thinking. My comments included defining some terms, revising research questions, attempting to clarify ways I see myself revising the work I've already complete as well as a promise to read some mentor text that will help with the revisioning of the very important thinking I've already engaged in. My thinking partners will read over my comments and comment themselves. This exchange helps me clarify what I am trying to do and why it is important. All of that in a little more than 30 minutes after a long day professional development training!

Some movement is better than no movement at all.

Another morning...another PR...

This morning's walk/jog involved another personal record...16 minutes of jogging! Our pace was better by nearly 2 minutes! Small steps forward. I'm wondering what it would be like to think of my writing the same way I am thinking about running. I've never had an issue with amount of time spent writing...I do tend to get "lost" in it...and the time does go by very fast. I'm not usually concerned with the amount I write in that time nor do I think I should be. In my writing it's not about "the distance traveled" it's more about "the journey" the thinking...making of meaning and revising that thinking/making into something that others will understand. When I finish these writing sessions...why don't I feel the same way I'm feeling after a run? If you think about it, each writing session offers space for PR's. I'm wondering what might happen if I spent a bit of reflective time after each write thinking about why it represents a PR? Even the smallest movement forward deserves mentioning...some movement is better than no movement all...someone famous said that once...maybe Henry Ford. We ran one more minute longer today than yesterday and shaved almost 2 minutes off yesterday's pace. I'm excited to carry this thinking over into my afternoon write!

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Summer coming to a close...a reflection...

Like most of my summers...this one was busy! Spent most of it working with my National Writing Project colleagues. In and around that work I found time to continue thinking about my dissertation and am currently working on my proposal. This past weekend however saw work "put on pause." I went to the mountains with friends and family and did several things for the first time...I biked the Creeper Trail, rode a 4-Runner, kayaked the New River and...went fishing. Each of these new experiences produced Zen-like...in the moment feelings where I was focused and enjoying every moment of that focus! I totally surrendered myself to each experience! I am bringing that Zen-like mindset "down the mountain" as I move into the next turn on this path that is my life. Starting this morning with a great walk/jog with my wife...continuing to the campus of UNCC with my DC colleagues...engaged in a great professional development session that will last all week long. It's interesting "being Tony the teacher" in this training...watching my NWP colleagues work the room. I'm so happy my DC peeps are here "breathing the NWP air." It's getting me excited to start the school year!

Re-programming the daily narrative and reaching new PR's...

Last day in the Windy City...didn't get to see much of it...too busy doing amazing work with amazing people for amazing reasons!!! In between all that amazing-ness...I found 35 minutes each day to walk/jog...today I decided to push myself just a little more...to see what was possible. I recorded a person record for distance and time per/mile! I desperately want to "bring this" passion and momentum into all aspects of my day and truth be told...it's probably already there to some degree. Not to "blow my own horn" but...I don't know many other people that can get as much out of a day as I can. Yet...I spend the micro-moments "in between" beating myself up because I'm not doing enough! I need to fill those moments up with other thoughts...like the thoughts that pass through me while I run...thoughts like, "This is amazing!" or "You are doing great...keep it up!" or "Keep going...you can do it!" Re-programming the micro-moments of my daily narrative is a life long journey...I get that. So...let's see where that takes me today!

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The Importance of Intervals...

I had a sort of "ah-ha moment" this morning while walk/jogging. Some of you know that I'm trying out this Couch to 5K thing and as a result...running has found me. I'm doing the program with my wife for several reasons...it's a part of my "balanced approach" to working on my Phd, it gives me 30 more minutes of activity each day and most importantly...it gives me 30 more minutes of quality time with my wife! We're in a holding pattern right now...between "weeks" due to my travel commitments. However, we did promise each other to remain active while apart from each other. For my wife, that's resulted in extra Spin classes. For me...that's resulted in trying out the treadmill at the hotel I'm staying at. I'm walk/jogging the routine my wife and I just finished prior to me having to travel. I thought it would be a cool way to revisit that workout...get to know it and myself as a novice runner--better. So...where's the "ah-ha moment" you ask? During this morning's workout...I started to see the importance of intervals...whether you're running...cycling...or in my case...working on my Phd...writing. Allow me to explain. There have been moments in my writing where I've "jogged" (attempted to cover a lot of ground in a short amount of time...writing creatively about my research). There have been other times when I've "walked" (slowed it down...thought critically about what I did while "jogging"...this mostly in the form of revision). I'm not sure I'd be where I am...as a novice runner, would-be cyclist and emerging scholar if it were not for intervals. I consider "this"...blogging...one of those "slowing it down" moments...necessary...if I intend to "finish."

 

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Fun on the treadmill...

So...today was the first time I'd ever worked out at a hotel I'm staying at! There were a lot more people in the workout room than I thought there'd be. I guess I'm not the only nut in this hotel. I'd decided beforehand to use a treadmill to keep up with the jogging/running I've been doing..."on the road" with my wife. I chose the "speed interval" program on the treadmill not knowing for sure the pace I was keeping "on the road" each day. I found out that I'm faster "on the road" than I was on the treadmill. I realized this about half way into my workout. It was a great feeling knowing that the next time I get on a treadmill (tomorrow) I will be able to push myself closer to my "on the road" pace!

You know you are addicted when...

You know you are addicted to running and all the great exercise you are getting when...in preparation for an upcoming trip you...

...stake out the hotels web page to make sure they have a workout room.

...go to the grocery store to buy protein bars.

...pack your running shoes and workout close.

...buy a new iPhone sleeve because it's a pain to get the phone out of the old one.

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Seeing stars...

I was tired this morning...it's been a long week of reading, thinking, writing and revising. In and between all of that, Steph and I worked out 6 out of 7 days...including today's Spin class. I have to admit...I was a bit reluctant to get up and go this morning but I knew it was necessary...exercising has been THE KEY element in my quest to achieve one of my life goals...my Phd. I am quite positive that I'd be on the branch of a tree...ready to jump if it were not for the exercise routine we've established over the past 8 months. Saturday's Spin class is all about cardio...sprints, lots of hovering and standing ='s jogging and running...depending on how hard I push myself...which is hard! At the end of the session...with less than 10 minutes left...I started to see stars...proof that I was really pushing myself. I did not give up...I'm "in this" to get healthy...to balance my mind, body and spirit. So even though the "stars came out" I kept going...'til the end. As I finished the workout I thought...the stars "will come out" more often as the year progresses...school will be starting soon...my proposal class will be starting...and in and around all of that...I will be attempting to do my research and write my dissertation. The mere thought of it all makes me start to see stars. I refuse to stop and gaze at them though...when they come out, I will acknowledge them and pull from experiences like this morning...knowing that if I keep my head down and remain "in the game"...I will continue towards my goal.

Cicadas under the stars...

This morning's jog was eventful on many levels...we entered our 4th week of the Couch to 5K program...we matched a PR (personal record) for distance and...we were literally cheered on by a group of cicadas that situated themselves strategically along our route. At least...that's how I'm choosing to acknowledge their existence. A few of the cicadas watched and encouraged us quietly...unwilling to give up their voyeuristic position. Were they expecting other joggers at 5 in the morning? Many felt the urge to "get up" and "cheer" us on with their tymbals. One got so excited to see us that its movement and sound caused me to jump right out of my stride. It was a clear morning so a cluster of stars decided to join the cicadas-watching us from above. Unlike the cicadas, the stars were content to just watch Steph and I as we jogged--their silence a form of appreciation for what they were witnessing. The combination of cicadas and stars got me wondering whether or not professional or amateur runners (the women and men we see on TV...even Olympians) acknowledge or are influenced on any level by the crowd that gathers to watch them? Or...do they see us merely as cicadas...under the stars?

Perfect Pedal Strokes...

Our Cycling instructor likes to encourage us during the ride. "You can do it," "Don't give up," "Make sure your pedal strokes are perfect." I know why she does it...at least I think I do...she wants us to stay safe and get the most out of the ride. For some reason...I heard the call for perfect pedal strokes more this morning than anything else...to the point where it became a mantra for me...whether we were doing switchbacks (turns during a climb where you lead with your left or right foot)...or...while we were doing seated climbs...or when she told us to "release" and sprint...these 3 words...perfect pedal strokes...kept me focused...there was a moment late in the ride that I started thinking about stopping...I didn't mind you but the thought did occur to me that I could if I wanted to. What kept me going? What I'm finding with all of this cycling and jog/running is that a HUGE portion of the experience is MENTAL...which gets me thinking about how experiences like "this"...cycling, jogging/running...are great space...if you are willing to surrender to the experience...to re-wire your brain...re-wire it into believing that stopping is not an option...that what you are doing is good for you...that "this" is fun! When the instructor called for perfect pedal strokes...I found myself looking down at my feet...really focusing on pedaling through my heels...allowing myself to notice how "that" felt...up through my hamstring.

Words like "perfect pedal strokes" can be very motivating and this is getting me thinking about how well placed words/phrases can be motivating in other situations. Now...don't get me wrong...these words are not magical...there are many other variables in between the call for "perfect pedal strokes" and Tony looking down at his feet trying to define what that means. Several decisions need to be made both voluntary and involuntary. I just think it's interesting...I'm pretty sure that I latched on to "the call" because I am a perfectionist...I want to do things perfectly...so in this case...if you ask me to pedal perfectly...I'm going to try.

Ending with a haiku...in an attempt to pull it all together...

Cyclist's mind

calmed

By perfect pedal strokes

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Personal Records

Wednesday morning...continuing our Couch to 5K assault on the running world, we went for a great jog/run/walk and in the process...we reached a personal record in the 3 weeks we've participated...I know there will be days when we slip backwards but heck...doesn't that happen with everything...yoga, cycling, writing, teaching, friendships, marriage...life is full of slippage...there are days when we are better and days when we are not...the point is that we try!!! Post run yoga, a shower...and some breakfast...found myself spending some time reading on my ipad...the equivalent of reading the morning paper...only on my terms...the content I am interested in. In doing so, I came across a really interesting Digital Is...project on the NWP site about making...producing content...which is what I've been reading around relative to my research for the past few days...the impact of new (and old) media in classrooms...some really interesting linking and thinking happening in the video from David Gauntlett...led me to a book by Ivan Illich, Tools for Conviviality...if you're interested. I'd read Deschooling Society years ago while attempting to figure out what it was that I was passionate about relative to my research interests so it's interesting to me how he comes back into the fold...in this moment...through the very medium that I am interested in doing my research on...the circulation of ideas and knowledge via new media. His thinking about tools and their potential made me get the book and I'm sure I'll be able to use his thinking somewhere in my work. The whole concept of producing versus consuming is what motivated me to "get up" do a little freewriting then take a portion of my freewrite into this blogpost.

 

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Summer institute final blog post

I was a little hesitant to participate in this year's Summer Invitational. My dissertation proposal needs to be ready to defend by the end of August. I wasn't sure that my participating in the summer institute was going to allow me space to further my inquiry. Have I written as much as I could have during the past 12 days? No. I did do other things though. YES! I listened. I had conversations. I witnessed demonstrations that got me thinking about one aspect of my dissertation proposal--that being the circulation of ideas and knowledge both in and out of the classroom. Being in the same room for 12 days with educators that are as dedicated to the teaching of writing as I am is a very motivating experience. Your blog posts, your demonstrations, your inquiries into your own practice helped me see better how knowledge can circulate both inside and outside the classroom. I plan on taking these experiences back into my dissertation proposal writing. I thank each one of you for providing me this opportunity.

Path of my inquiry...

NWP SI...2004...'05, '06, '07 (Fall...started my doctoral program w/ Cindy, Lil, Lacy and Sally as thinking partners)...'08-'11...wrote around the fringes...blogging...panopticism...neoliberalism...capitalism...elementary school writing...(Fall of '1l...thought I'd do a historical look at Error...that didn't go well...talked to other thinking partners...Lil and Tony S...went back through all of my work and began to re-imagine it...weaving in and out of a conversation that already exists about the ways in which teachers and students relate to one another and between themselves...via their usage of tools...like daybooks and social media...during literacy instruction...started looking for connections...intersections...while preparing for my comprehensive exams...my literacy project informed my studying...my studying informed the project...skype sessions...talking to myself via scrivener...itunes...currently looking at ANT and how it may help me bridge the ideas I've composed to this point...creating a conversation between the macro and the micro...more writing...more thinking...more conversation with my thinking partners will help me figure out what moves need to be made next!

18th stage of the Tour de France...

This morning...our cycling class simulated the 18th stage of the Tour de France...I was focused...perfect pedaling...mind focused on the # of rpm's the instructor asked of us...we went up and down rolling mountains...I attempted to take the lead several times...visualizing what it would look like if I did...visualizing left turns...right turns...going down hill...in Cycle class...I use the music to get me where I need to be...there were moments during the ride that I thought about my writing...what I've done...what I need to do...I integrated that thinking into the turns...I integrated that thinking into the climbs...I noticed the thinking for what it was...let it go...then noticed other thoughts...am I pedaling through my heals...how's my breathing...are my shoulders relaxed...it was a very good ride and I want to bring that energy into the rest of the day with me!

The writer
     in front of this screen
Is searching for the sound

Thoughts about independent reading...

I'm using my blog to think with Debbie about (at this moment) independent reading...as far as school goes...I think it's crucial...we need...as teachers...to open up space for our students (and ourselves) to have this time...you don't become better at something unless you have time to practice it...the statistics that Debbie is sharing with us (see handout) validate that the more we read the better we get at it...now if I could just convince the data-driven machine that informs decisions in my school district to think this way...we may not have as many children struggling with EOG assessments...over the course of Debbie's demo...we explored several platforms that provide opportunities to share...socially what we are reading...like shelfari, glogster, story bird, book seer, good reads...these seem interesting and I'm wondering how I might bring any one of them into my classroom practice. Thanks to Debbie for giving us space to think about all of this!

Writing into my morning...

I'm really looking forward to a HUGE chunk of writing time today...right after SI...I'm going to "hunker down" at Amelie's (possibly)...to write! I've been writing around my proposal since last week...reading several articles that center around what is currently happening with digital literacies in elementary and adolescent education. Writing is writing and though I feel like I've not done this proposal justice during this past week...I have to come to terms with the fact that if I'm thinking, reading and writing around the proposal...that is forward movement...which has been my mantra since last Fall. Today...as I mentioned above is unique in that there will be actual "sit down" time to work on this thing. I'm also looking forward to today because I get to hang out with a friend that I don't get to see enough. Like me...my friend is engaged in doctoral work...a bit ahead of me...working on his actual dissertation...we're calling our meeting "the dissertation blues"...a time to riff, rant and talk ourselves through this moment in time.

Thoughts
     expanded
By riffing and ranting

Connections...

I'm reading an interesting article right now that gets me thinking about 2 demos we saw in SI today...the article talks about "connection code curriculum" a space where...digitized knowledge, networked environments and critical understandings of relations among ideas are valued. I saw some interesting connections today as we explored our notions of poetry, it was present as we looked at how to use Skype to annotate and re-familiarize ourselves with spaces in and around campus. Both experiences have me thinking about the circulation of knowledge. Both moments give me ways of thinking about how the creation of content for sharing means more than just producing and distributing this knowledge...it's pushing the boundaries of our practice. This pushing of boundaries gets complicated when the institution of school attempts to "hold on" to antiquated, print oriented ways of being. During a conversation not related to this post, a colleague mentioned that, "It's up to us to change things if we see that they are not working." I'm taking his thought and placing it here because I think his advise relates in that the amazing work and thinking we've seen/engaged in over the past two weeks is giving us all a chance to think more about how to change, re-see our practice.

Response to comments...

My last blog post has elicited some interesting comments...most of them supportive of a perceived emotion and/or intensity "read into" the blogger's (my own) words. As most of my audience knows (or has come to know) I tend to wear my emotions/frustrations etc. on my sleeve and my blog post was an attempt to address the way I was thinking...in that particular moment. In a "you get what you give" sort of moment...I got sympathy and a little empathy (compassion) when I presented the emotion of frustration with a level of intensity.

Zen blogger
       enlightened
By compassionate readers

What I wonder about...

What do I wonder about...do you really want to know...not be serious?? I'm not sure I can...there's no time to NOT be serious...there are deadlines to meet...meeting to be had...readings to be read...writing to be written...THAT'S WHAT I WONDER ABOUT!! How to fit it all in...get up...yoga or Spin...get ready for...whatever...school...SI...some sort of training to fly off to...it never seems like it's just...get up. From "there" the paths are as diverse as the day is SHORT...there are NEVER enough hours in the day to get to it all...I try...GOD knows I try...I try all the time. So...that's what I wonder about...when I wake up...how in the hell am I going to "do it" today??!!!

Revision=re-seeing...

Having the space to "play around" with revision strategies is always one of my favorite SI experiences. It gives me permission to be different...there's something about having the ideas right there in front of me...in handout form...that makes me more conscious of them. Why do I not see them when I'm sitting and composing? Is it because I am so fixated on what I think I should be doing that I forget...how do I balance between "staying really close" to my work and knowing when to "zoom out?" As I sat and participated in yesterday's revision session...I thought...as a writer...I'm always revising...I cannot just "dump stuff" on the page...I tried it but it didn't suit me...and to know that it does not suit me is a HUGE step in my evolution as a writer. The handout that we used yesterday may not be physically in front of me when I write but "it's all up there...in my head" engaging me in an internal conversation as I write...I may not be able to "name" what it is that I'm doing while I sit there but what I do works for me...it's meticulous...it's slow...it involves reading...re-reading, inserting, omitting, coding, commenting, Skyping. Maybe being more mindful of what is happening is the balance that I'm attempting to grasp at here. Hmmm...

Connections...spaces...enabling...constraining...

One of the cool things about NWP SI is the fact that there so many opportunities to make connections about the spaces we inquire into...if you are willing to "go down the rabbit hole." Case in point...the awesome stuff that we've been doing for the past few days is setting itself up to become a really cool connecting point for the inquiry I am going to engage in with my #unccwp peeps in just a few minutes. A way of tracing the social...what is happening within the E-Anthology 2.0 Day in the Life forum. Can't wait to talk about all of this!

2 hours for 2 minutes...

Yesterday during Day 3 of SI...I spoke with a colleague about whether or not it would be important for me to put together a video of my life as a writer? The participants of this experience are being asked to do and the fact that I just labeled "them" as participants puts me in the awkward position of being something "other" than that yet...I am participating...aren't I? Anyway...my colleague and I decided that it would be a good idea for the both of us to put something together. I'd just shown her some cool thinking I was doing in a digital space I'm using to put my dissertation proposal together. After listening to me babble about things, my colleague encouraged me to put "something quick" together about what I'd just shown her and to "just go for it." I shook my head in agreement...not knowing about the digital vortex I was about to jump into. When I home...I went about trying to figure out how to get a screen cast application (a way of video-ing what is happening on your computer screen) to work. When I couldn't figure out how to use it...I Google'd it. It was here that I found out that my computer already had the capability to do such things WITHOUT PAYING 6 bucks for an application! Yeah me for learning something new! So...I decided to go with the application my computer already had. It took a while but I figured out how to use it. Then...my next problem was trying to figure out how to layer audio over this masterpiece. I needed another program...iMovie. I've used this awesome tool a few times and my experience with it last night reminded me that like all things new...the only way you get better...is to keep using it. In the span of 2 hours I re-taught myself the difference between a new event and a new project...how to drag a video into the event...then to the project...how to layer audio over the video and how to finalize the whole project. I also learned that I'm not very good at just talking off the cuff while video is running. I ultimately needed my daybook to write a short script to help me through the voiceover. Even then...it took me 14 times to get it close to sounding like I wanted it. 2 hours for 2 minutes.

UNCCWP Day One: Location, location, location...

So we are only 90 minutes "out" of the first day of UNCCWP's Summer Invitational and I'm thinking more about the seamlessness of the day...how it all revolved around ideas related to location. Today's session was very helpful to me and what I'm thinking about with regards to my own research...which is an inquiry into what happens when teachers and students use different types of technologies (digital=blogs, analog=daybooks) during literacy instruction. I could see my students using the Writing Timeline that Sally had us create to trace a path of their own usage of their daybook or involvement on Kidblog (a blogging platform). I could see my students using Mapping experience I led the group through to think more about the classroom...how literacy circulates in that space. Even the Sacred Places experience that Lacy and Steve helped us with late this afternoon to literally "zoom out" and think...over a defined period of time...how literacy circulates in the different spaces (places) they occupy. The Mapping experience I lead may even help me...as a note-taking/making "tool" while I do my research. Hmmm...

Today's question...

 I'm just about finished reading the Steve Jobs biography. The current chapter highlights an encounter Jobs had with a blogger about Apple's attempt to control which apps could be on the iPhone and iPad. Jobs had an opinion about digital life that he argued "vigorously" "bluntly" "publicly." 

That leads me to today's question..."What would you be willing to argue "vigorously, bluntly, publicly?"

Thoughts about my daily practice...

 We all belong to groups...membership is voluntary sometimes...by default at other times. We all have an identity that is the sum of all of the experiences that we engage in and surround us...that identity is always changing. I'm spending time currently thinking about how the groups we are members of by default contribute to our always evolving identities.

Affinity groups...

I've been thinking about what affinity groups are for the past 4 days since reading a really interesting article by James Paul Gee. Loosely defined, an affinity group is comprised of people with similar interests. These groups can span massive distances...for example...I am in an affinity group called "educators" and this group includes individuals from all over the world...many of whom I do not know at all. However, that larger group includes a group of "educators" much closer to me...(for example)...my colleagues at the elementary school. We work with other affinity groups...groups we help create. We even give them "names" or "labels"...groups like "at risk children", "LD students", "ADHD students." Gee talks about how affinity groups seem to be groups that individuals want to be a part of yet the groups I mention in the previous sentence don't seem to be the type of group kids would stand in line to become members of. Still...they exist.  Reading Gee's article has me interested in how these groups form and why. I'm also interested in how the formation of these groups contributes to the socialization of children into the insitution of school and if (at all) opens up space for possible moments of liberation within that institution. Is there a way for affinity groups to work in such a way that the socialization that takes place in schools is not solely reproductive in nature? Is there a way for affinity groups to work alongside one another in such a way that produces liberating moments for each group? I'm not sure the questions are coming out the way I want them right now and welcome your thoughts.

Zen of being un-attachment...

Who knew that de-cluttering could be so emotionally draining? This morning I decided to get rid of some things I'd been keeping for awhile. Old doctoral papers I no longer need a hard copy of, old gradebooks from my last school, old student work and old teacher evaluations from my old school. As I went through this stuff...I got very emotional!! Looking back at this stuff brought up very bad memories and very happy memories...so much that I could not hold it all in! I love teaching more than life itself and the things I decided to "let go" of today are like extensions of that love! It has been hours since I've "let it all go" and I'm still drained!

Quick Write...01-12-12

Been a few days since I've posted to the blog...went to my first class session of the last class I need to take for my doctoral program last night. It's going to be a great class for many reasons. My mentor is teaching it and we've conceptualized the space as a place for me to continue with my "Think Forward" mantra! I already have some ideas for one of the papers I need to write...it's going to be an article that I intend to publish in an amazing magazine called Rethinking Schools. Here's a link to their website...

http://www.rethinkingschools.org/index.shtml

Writing this article is going to help me start to think how the topics I am interested in (Assessment, Technology and Error) link up with each other. I know there is a connection and I know this article will help me begin to see it!

TBC

Dialing it back...just a little...01-09-12

Trying to figure out...how much is too much?! I made a promise to myself that I would blog more this year...in an attempt to "Think Forward." So far, I'm rockin' it!!

Doing some reading earlier today (see FB post) I noticed that it may not be such a good idea to post to my blog everyday. I mean think about it, what are the chances that I will have something to say EVERYDAY? Ok...maybe I could...actually I am!

I am re-reading a book that will be integral to my dissertation titled: Identity and Agency in Cultural Worlds by: Holland et al. It's an amazing book! After re-reading chapter 1 I did some thinking about identity and how we think about it. Holland et al tell us that our identities are lived in and through activity. As I re-read this chapter at 4:30 am (yeah...I'm insane) I couldn't help but think of my own identity...or my self-understanding of my identity. For 23 years (just about 1/2 of my life here on Earth...yeah I'm that old) my identity has been "lived in and through" the activity of teaching...an activity that brings me more happiness than just about anything else!! Holland et al tell us that identities are improvised and I think that that's what causes me the most friction with my daily experiences in the classroom. What I mean is that I've always known inherently (I didn't need Holland et al to "tell me this") that the act of teaching is an improvisation. However, the way in which school is structured or more accurately surveilled...both for teachers and students goes against this...which is interesting...we are "told" that we need to be structured...we need to write lesson plans...schedules...post objectives so that when administrators come to observe they can point at things and say, "Yes...school is happening here." However, those of us that "get it" that understand that the act of teaching...and learning for that matter is an act of improvisation realize the insanity of writing these lesson plans, posting schedules and objectives. We are dealing with humans here...right?

At any rate...back to what I was saying earlier...I may not be posting to my blog everyday...that's a pressure I don't need to put on myself...I will post when I have something to say...whatever that means. Re-posting ideas that I am reading about with short commentary...that's writing too. I wouldn't be re-posting it if I didn't think there was some value to it.

Feel free to post a comment...either on my blog or via FB/Twitter/Google +. I'm pushing all of my thinking forward because I want to engage my audience. I know you're reading...lurking. That's cool too...it's actually a part of the social media experience.

Well...that's it for now. Won't be posting tomorrow...it's my birthday! I heard this awesome quote today that Steven Tyler (Areosmith) said...I'm paraphrasing here..."I'm so old that when I was born, the Dead Sea was just sick." HA!!

What do I impute??!!

While reading the Jobs biography this morning, I came across a quote that got me thinking about "my thinking" and the many forms it takes...this blog being one form. The quote basically says (I'm paraphrasing) that, "great companies impute their values and importance in everything they do." So, that got me thinking about what I'm imputing when I write on this blog. I'm imputing an ethos...a way that I want to be seen...thought of, etc. My "move" to push my thinking forward to both my Twitter and FB audience is a calculated one...which I think adds to what I'm attempting to impute. How does one know whether (in this case my efforts to impute) are working? In Jobs' world, it's pretty simple...but what about the world of a writer like me struggling to move his thinking forward? 

"Oh, and one more thing...Think Forward!"

Steve Jobs' signature coda at his big meetings gets me thinking about my goals for the Spring semester. Just when I think everything is getting done, just when I think that I cannot move another thing forward...I'm going to think of this coda...it will force me to realize that there is always something else that I can be doing to move my thinking forward! Jobs also has signature phrases like "Think Different." My riff on that is going to be "Think Forward!!"

The Joshua Tree...

No poetry this evening...I'm sitting here after a long but very productive week listening to Pandora and like it knew what I was looking for...BAM!!! Bono and the boys come on with, "Where the Streets Have No Name." I love this whole album!!! I actually saw them on this tour while some of you were still in diapers or sucking your thumb...yeah I'm that old!! This album has an energy to it that mere words cannot do justice so I will stop and just say, thank you boys!!!

Today's haiku...01-05-12

Finished Cintron's book this morning at 5:35 am...yeah...I'm insane! This book is really going to be helpful in terms of showing me possibilities as it relates to the type of ethnography I would like to write for my dissertation. I have one more haiku to share with you...my attempt to make meaning out of significant moments from each chapter. Check it out...



Symbolic dirt
     Swept away
By neat and clean electrically dependent gadgetry

As I put this haiku together, I couldn't help but think of technologies like Reading 3D, DIBELS and the antiquated Palm Pilots teachers like myself have to use to track reading comprehension progress with regards to our students. Spend a few minutes checking out Reading 3D's website and let me know whether or not my haiku makes sense.

Today's haiku...01-04-12

Public sphere

    Constrained

By its collective fear

How many times do we let this happen to ourselves during the day? I'm guilty of this every time a supervisor "walks by." I could be doing the most amazing things in that moment and as soon as s/he "walks by", I feel that I need to "perform"...provide a narrative of what is happening in that moment and why. What makes me slide into this performance? Fear! Fear of what though? These are questions that won't be answered tonight however...I feel that it's important to throw them out there. 

How do we break this collective fear? One word...Solidarity...sticking together...supporting each other. It's something the people I work with are very good at...yet the fear still constrains...why?

The power of "IS" 01-03-12

If you've spent any time reading my recent posts...you know that I can't get my head out of the book Angels' Town by, Ralph Cintron. In an effort to synthesize information I'm reading and thinking about from each chapter, I'm trying to compose haiku-like poetry that centers around some that caught my attention while reading. That said, here's today's haiku...


This IS right and this IS wrong
     validated
By the discourse of power

How many times during the day do we use the word "IS" without thinking about the impact it has on the conversation?

A haiku...

Wrote this haiku after reading a mind-blowing chapter in Angels' Town...

Reality 

    Constructed

By collision of messiness and exactness

What do you think? I initially used "moments" in place of "collision." I switched to collision because I think that's the relationship messiness and exactness have...they just don't meet or coexist.

Blogging into the New Year...

First blog post of the New Year and thought I'd share a pic (still playing around with the Blogsy app on my iPad 2) of the latest geeky-toy...the Logitech fold up keyboard. I wrote about it the other day but didn't give you a chance to "see it" in action! Here she is...waiting for me to use her! HA!!!

I spent some time today prepping for the school...which starts back up tomorrow. Won't lie...wish I had more time home to chill but again...I really cannot complain...had a great (almost) 2 weeks off!! Spent lots of time with Steph...went on amazing walks...read 1/2 of the Steve Jobs biography (which is awesome)...went for two great drives in my Beetle...with the top down baby...and even began to wrap my head around what I intend to do with my research this Spring!

So...I'm re-charged and ready to move forward!!!

That's all I've got...for now!